<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>a moment’s silence. by honey_sweet</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149669">a moment’s silence.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_sweet/pseuds/honey_sweet'>honey_sweet</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>kuroo tetsurou vs. adulthood [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged up characters, Angst, Crying, Drabble, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Child, One Shot, because haikyuu needed more sad fanfic, everyone is sad, i had an idea and if i have to suffer then so do you</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:28:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,031</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27149669</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/honey_sweet/pseuds/honey_sweet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>kuroo has to come to terms with something he didn’t ever expect to have to deal with while bokuto and akaashi try and help the best that they can.<br/>but some things you need to deal with on your own.</p><p>(im starting to think that part of me just enjoys making myself sad with the scenarios i come up with)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>kuroo tetsurou vs. adulthood [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>a moment’s silence.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>yeah. im sorry guys. the fandom didnt need more sad content but you know i enjoy my own suffering</p><p>there should probably be a trigger warning for mentions of miscarriage - just. read at your own discretion.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bokuto had sounded so panicked on the other end of the line. He sounded so scared, and now Kuroo was feeling the fear settle into his skin as he waited for the train to rattle to the stop he was headed for.</p><p>It never usually took this long, it <em>never</em> took the train so long to pull up to the station a few blocks away from Akaashi’s apartment. Bokuto was afraid, and for good reason. Kuroo let his leg awkwardly shake where he stood, fingers clutching the railing. His hand was slowly getting slick with sweat and several times he wiped his hands onto his suit trousers but as soon as he wicked away the moisture, his palms clammed up again. He couldn’t stop thinking about the wavering in his friends voice.</p><p><em>‘Kuroo - it’s an emergency.’</em> And the panicked voice in the background that told him Akaashi was, for once, freaking out too. That was the scariest part. Akaashi sounded worried. He sounded like he wasn’t in control. And that was the terrifying part. Akaashi was always collected. But suddenly he wasn't.</p><p>The train seemed to linger exceptionally longer than usual at each station. Kuroo was on the edge of screaming as he watched businessmen slowly waddle off the platforms and the train doors that took an eternity to close. He stood there, sweaty hand on the railing sliding wildly with each rough turn of the track, and desperately running his free hand through his chaotic hairstyle. He knew who was at that apartment with them. And that was what scared him. Bokuto didn’t give him details. He didn’t give a name. He didn’t have to - Kuroo knew who was there and his mind was working overtime trying to figure out what kind of catastrophe was occurring while he was stuck on a train trying his best to get to where he needed to be.</p><p>He checked his phone, hand shaking too much to read and respond to the frantic messages Kenma and Bokuto were sending him. He couldn’t speed up the train, but he was only a single stop away from where he needed to be. The announcer was mumbling over the tannoy, crackling voice in the stifling air of the carriage. As soon as the doors were opening, he lunged for them. When he was taking off full speed down the platform towards the ticketed gates he realised people were jumping out of their way. But he didn’t care, he didn’t. He had somewhere he had to be and nothing would stop that. People needed him. Bokuto was scared. Akaashi was worried. Kenma didn’t know what to say. And you were- He didn’t know. That was the problem. He just didn’t know.</p><p>He slammed his rail card down on the gate and didn’t even wait for the barrier to start opening before he had vaulted over it and started sprinting out of the train station. The tie around his neck was flying over his shoulder as he ran, bag strap slung across his chest and the tail of his suit jacket flapping desperately behind him. Pedestrians gave him shocked expressions as he ran at full speed in business attire from the train station and swerved around corners and dashed across zebra crossings without even glancing at the people he was pushing out of the way. The leather soles of his office shoes were not meant for running in the slightest but he wouldn’t be able to bear walking like a normal human at that moment. It would be too slow. And people needed him. Bokuto was scared. Akaashi wasn’t calm. Kenma was trying to ring him. It was an emergency. And you were the only person who hadn’t contacted him. There were tears threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes, but he lied to himself and said it was just the wind.</p><p>Frankly, he was terrified.</p><p>He skidded around the street corner heading towards his destination. Taking two steps at a time he heaved his way up the stairs to the apartment he knew Bokuto and Akaashi lived at. The door numbers flew past as he took off down the corridor, hair now truly untamed and not in his usual tastefully messy way. Kuroo didn’t even bother knocking, he just twisted the door handle for apartment 21B and let himself in. Bokuto was pacing the length of his small kitchen, hands alternating between rubbing his damp eyes and running them through his hair. Kuroo was panting - completely out of breath and his heart was racing in fear. He let the door swing closed behind him with the momentum and made eye contact with his long term friend.</p><p>Bokuto had no words. He just stared at his friend, the stupid bedheaded chemistry nerd with the heaving chest and watery eyes standing in his doorway. They both stood completely still for what felt like an eternity, just staring at each other. It was probably only seconds, because Kuroo was moving forward, lifting his bag over his head and opening his mouth to speak when he was cut off by the stifled sobbing from the far end of the hallway. Bokuto failed to find the words in time, only mumbling:</p><p>“Akaashi is with her,” as Kuroo pushed towards the guest bedroom. Kuroo probably didn’t hear. Bokuto sank down to sit with his back against the kitchen cupboards, sprawling his legs out on the tiled floor as he dropped his head into his hands. The kettle on the countertop was not yet fully boiled.</p><p>Kuroo found that his bravery had deserted him at the last moment. He stopped in front of the door for a moment, hand clutching the handle and body frozen in place. He didn’t know what he was going to find. And he didn’t know what he should be prepared for, if it was even possible to be prepared in a situation like this. The only thing that broke him out of his frozen state was your voice. It was weak and it was laced with tears on the other side of the door.</p><p>“Keiji-“</p><p>“I’m still here. Kuroo will be here soon.”</p><p>That sentence was what made him open the door finally. He couldn’t hide outside any more. He was going to be sick or he would cry or scream ... he was on the verge of something terrifying and fragile. And he had no idea what he was walking into. He was met with the sight of Akaashi sat by the bedside, hunched in a dining chair with his head in one hand and yours clutching his other. You looked like you were barely conscious. A sheen of sweat plastered hair to your forehead and tears gathered under your closed eyes. The way your eyebrows knotted together in the centre of your forehead in pain truly broke his heart. He didn’t move for a second, he was overcome with fear. Akaashi turned when he heard the door open, glancing over his shoulder at a shell shocked Kuroo.</p><p>“She-“ Akaashi started, but Kuroo moved forward before listening to what his friend had to say.</p><p>“I’m here. I got you.” Kuroo mumbled, heading for the other side of the bed and kneeling down to cradle you. Shrugging off his sweat-soaked suit jacket and loosening his tie, he pushed back damp hair from your face. He realised you smelled like disinfectant and were bundled in one of Bokuto’s old Fukurodani jerseys. It practically drowned you, but when Kuroo rested his forehead against yours he felt how much it burned. He laced his warm hands with your limp one, watching as the gold bands on your ring fingers overlapped each other. He started, transfixed at something that had been there for years on the two of you. But he didn’t want to look at your pained expression.</p><p>You shivered and a few more tears fell. Akaashi pushed the blankets up higher to stop a chill consuming you.</p><p>“Tetsurou-“ You sighed, voice cracking. Even Akaashi looked like he was on the verge of tears.</p><p>“I’m here.” He whispered, trying not to think about why you were in pain. Part of him knew, but he wouldn’t think about it until he absolutely had to. He didn’t know what to do.</p><p>“I’m sorry Tetsu.” He shook his head and gripped your hand, moving forwards to sit by your shoulder and rest your head in his lap. You cried quietly, shaking and curling up into his lap while he stroked sweat and tear soaked hair back from your face. He tried not to cry, knowing it would upset you more. Akaashi stayed silent for a while until you had finally slipped back into unconsciousness.</p><p>“She’s been doing that a lot.” Keiji mumbled, looking at his hands in his lap. Kuroo said nothing. “She must be tired.”</p><p>Kuroo nodded, not stopping stroking your hair.</p><p>It was silent for a short while longer. Kuroo cleared his throat shakily.</p><p>“Tell me what happened.”</p><p>“Kuroo I think you should talk it through when she wakes up-“</p><p>“Tell me. <em>Please</em> Keiji.” His voice cracked as he made eye contact.</p><p>“She-“ And Akaashi suddenly started crying too. Silent little tears pulling themselves from the corners of his eyes. “I’m so sorry Kuroo.”</p><p>“Stop saying you’re fucking sorry and tell me what happened!” He snapped, trying not to wake you.</p><p>“Kuroo I ... I don’t know how to tell you.” Akaashi sighed and wrung his wrists together tiredly. “She lost the baby. We were just watching TV together out there and- she just doubled over. I- Kuroo I don’t know what happened. We called for an ambulance but they sent a midwife out. She- I,” Keiji was cut off by a shaky breath. “The midwife said the baby was never alive to begin with. You would have found out at the eight week scan but it didn’t even get that far.”</p><p>Kuroo stopped stroking your hair. He stopped moving, he stopped breathing. He could feel his heart hammering away in his ribcage. That was when Kuroo doubled over from the ache in his chest. His heart had been torn out in the space of a few words. He curled his shoulders down over your body to envelop you in his arms. He cried, he shook with the tears and he fucking sobbed. He lost it. He didn’t know how to comfort his wife, how to fix the pain in her heart nor the pain in her body. Akaashi walked over and held his friend’s shoulder firmly as he cried.</p><p>“Oh my god.” Tetsurou gasped, sobbing and gripping onto your exhausted body as he rocked back and forth. “Oh my god.”</p><p>How could that even be possible? He had loved that child before it was even alive. He <em>still</em> loved the child he knew didn't even exist. <em>His </em>child had never even lived. He had been kissing your stomach and whispering names for a child he would never even get to hold. He was planning a future for a son he would never get to look at. And while he knew he would suffer the repercussions of this, he realised the pain his wife was going through was a hundred times worse than his own. </p><p>He felt useless knowing he could do nothing about it. He could only hold her. And mourn his son that he would never get to meet.</p><p>Kuroo didn’t even notice the door open, but Akaashi looked up at Bokuto coming in with two steaming mugs of tea in his hands. They made eye contact and stayed silent as Kuroo sobbed. Akaashi stood up and steered Bokuto out of the room, taking him by the shoulder once he had left the tea on the bedside.</p><p>“I think he needs some time,” Akaashi whispered, closing the door behind him.</p><p>They held each other in the kitchen while Kuroo held his wife as she slept.</p><p>After a while, all he could hear was the sound of his heart. The sound of his wife's tired breathing. And where he wanted to hear a third heart beat, that tiny phantom sound to prove his son was still alive ...</p><p>he was only met with silence.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hit me with a kudos if you like what you read although *like* is probably a loose term considering i just wrote about 2000 words of people crying but- you know.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>